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The Hogwarts School of Fuck Everybody [ OPEN PSL/MEME ]

The Harry Potter AU: Smutty Edition

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Hmm?

[ His attention shifted from watching a nearby Ravenclaw walking with her friends back to Aomine. He could understand the other's enthusiasm for mocking others for taking the sport so seriously and he'd grown up in the Wizarding World where all this was a huge thing.

His brothers and sister had all been on the Quidditch team. They'd also all been Prefects. Atsushi sure as hell wasn't though... he didn't have the grades or the patience. He was hardly a model Hufflepuff either. A damn good Keeper though even if he complained all of practice. ]

Yeah, I brought some. But you can treat me to some Butterbeer too.

[ What was that? You owe him from a bet you'd made on your last Quidditch game??? Don't think he forgot. He may forget lots of things, but gold that can be used for food and snacks weren't one of them. ]

[ Aomine's grumbles say that no, he hasn't forgotten at all. To some people, it's a wonder that the two of them hang out at all, considering how often they are at odds on the field. Aomine, the unstoppable Chaster; Murasakibara, the immovable Keeper. Games between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor can go either way these days, often coming down to last minute scoring and blocking wars between the two of them.

Of course, then some skinny asshole on either of their teams catches the Snitch, and it ceases to matter. That's how Atsushi won their last bet.

Fuck, but he hates Quidditch so much. ] Yeah, yeah. I know.

You want it now, or later? [ Which is to say: did he want to wipe out Honeydukes right now, or give the staff time to prepare for the devastation? ]

[ Murasakibara always wondered why Aomine didn't play Seeker. He was certainly fast enough and his build made him incredibly more suitable for the position than Atsushi would ever be. He was a perfect Keeper himself, especially toward end game if things were closed to being tied...

Hufflepuff hadn't done so well in Quidditch in ages, but their team currently had taken a much more hardcore direction... if the other team couldn't score than they could just rely on their Seeker catching the Snitch and winning by a landslide. Gryffindor was honestly their vest rivals...

He just hated the loud shouted "I'm sorry!!!!!"s that happened whenever their Seeker caught the Snitch first. Which he sometimes did. ]

... You think they're open now? We can get the first mugs.

[ All of them. ]

They open early on the weekends. [ Because that was when, like now, crowds of students would file into the little hamlet, wasting gold and making trouble.

Aomine takes the lead, weaving around gaggles of nervous third years with eyes so big they looked like they might pop out of their heads, and knots of girls that would titter amongst themselves when they went past. It's possible to really tell who they're giggling over, Aomine or Murasakibara, or both, but it's a rare girl that Aomine pays attention to. Most of 'em in their year and earlier didn't have the 'assets' that he's partial to.

Avoiding the crowds gets them first in the door at The Three Broomsticks and seats at the best table, the one by the window. Once settled, he waves down Rosemerta, who has the most exasperated look for the two of them.

Atsushi's reputation is well known by now. ]

[ Murasakibara didn't care much for girls, even if they whispered about him. It wasn't that he didn't like girls... (there were a few he found super cute), but none of them fit the criteria he'd set for himself. They were all too short.

While that was a petty thing to be picky about when you were 6 foot fucking 10 it was important to him. Tiny people meant he'd have to lean down way too far to kiss them and with his... generous size... it'd just make other things more difficult too. Unfortunately, this meant that the only girl in his House that fit his height standards was his older sister--and that was definitely not going to happen. He almost felt bad turning girls down when they confessed to him.

As he slid into the seat he propped his arm up against the windowsill. He and Aomine's height and reputation certainly helped getting them past the third years too. Quidditch had some advantages. Once he places his order and one for Aomine, Rosemerta just walks off grumbling. ]

You'd think they'd like me. [ Since he dropped quite a bit of gold every visit. He leaned on his palm with a bored, lazy yawn. ] You going home this holiday?

Nobody likes you because you're rude. [ Said Aomine, the king of rudeness. Then again, he only sometimes acknowledged the real reason, that being one or both of them being too weird for the sleepy little village of wizards and witches.

Murasakibara: too huge and opaque to be allowed. Aomine: who didn't like magic. Their only saving grace was that yes, they spent a lot of gold, and only sometimes made trouble. ]

Nah, not this time. The house is being renovated and my parents are taking off for the holidays. I could stay with my grandparents, but...

[ He just shrugged. ] Castle's gonna be mainly empty. Maybe I can get some peace and quiet for once. [ Who was going to nap all Christmas?

Aomine was going to nap all Christmas. ]

Says you. [ The KING of rudeness. But then again it wasn't like Aomine had ripped the eyebrow off of someone's face his first year at Hogwarts like Murasakibara had. Or insulted a professor because they smelled funny.

Or made a girl cry because she had a weird accent.

Or got detention for picking the Herbology professor up and refusing to put him down when he was threatening to go get his big brother. Okay, so maybe Atsushi was a little rude. ]

I'm staying too. [ Just the mention of 'peace and quiet' made him yawn. He'd join Aomine in said napping, though probably from the comfort of his House rather than outside or anything. ] My parents wanted to do a big family outing... so my brothers and sister are going. I don't want to.

[ And his parents have just accepted this at this point. ]

[ Aomine seems to be getting a head start on the napping part; he's already leaning one elbow on the table, cheek on his hand, the palm of his other one covering his mouth for a yawn. ]

Are they going anywhere fun? Might be worth it if it's half-decent.

[ What's decent to Aomine? Anywhere with food and basketball; at least one out of those two are high enough on Atsushi's priority list, he knows. ]

We could do something.

[ He just says it, eyes closed, not really thinking about anything at all. The reality is that there's not much one can actually do when stuck at school over the holidays, but the offer is there and Aomine doesn't take it back, though he does open one eye to gauge Murasakibara's reaction. ]

No... just some Muggle town.

[ Atsushi had been born and raised in the Wizarding World, so honestly those sort of things didn't interest him in the slightest. Unlike Aomine, he'd been born to a non-Muggle household... and as uninteresting as he found most Muggle things that the blue haired teen showed him there were a couple things he liked.

His parents just happened to like all the things he didn't like. Which was pretty much everything but TV and Basketball.

At his offer the larger teen leans on his own hand, head tilting to look him over as his brows raise. ] Mm? Are you asking me out, Minechin? You're gross.

[ He's probably kidding. ]

[ A 'Muggle town' could be anything from a tiny village to Paris or Madrid, which Aomine almost points out, but why the hell is he even defending the Murasakibara family's choice of vacation? It's not like he's going.

Instead he just grunts to show he heard him and then scowl at him, his infamous ill-temper making a brief show when he thinks he's being made fun of.

In response, Aomine crosses his arms behind his head and leans back against his chair, his long legs sticking out and bumping against Atsushi's own. ] Why would I do that?

You're an expensive date.

[ When Aomine's legs bump into his own he shifts his footing to hook his legs around them, holding them in place in a childish game of leg-lock.

He shrugs as their order gets brought over and after a sip of his drink and a glance at Aomine he brushes his leg up against the side of one of the blue haired teen's without a second thought. And with how long those legs are he manages to feel up a lot of leg in a very limited motion. ]

Because you get something out of it. [ A pause. ] And you pay for me for our bets all the time anyway. Might as well waste all of your gold on me.

... [ Well he's not going to take that sitting down. ...figuratively speaking.

Aomine's none-too-gentle wriggling has two effects: one, a lot of battering against Murasakibara's unacceptably large frame. And two, the table they're at begins to jump and lurch, not quite knocking their drinks over, but vaguely threatening it. The bumping of wood against his knees doesn't bother him; it's the hard press of Atsushi's leg that sticks in his mind. ]

But is it going to be something good?

[ Nudge, kick. ]

I'm not going to pay for something only kinda good.

You didn't complain last night--

[ Okay. Kicking and nudging Atsushi was fine with, but the shaking table that threatens to knock over perfectly good Butterbeer??? That shit ain't going to fly.

So naturally the nudges in return to Aomine's legs start to get harder with each attack until turning almost into full blown kicking which makes knocking over their drinks even more likely. If he hadn't picked his Butterbeer up it would have already spilled all over their snack and the blue haired teen's lap. He actually winces a bit from one good kick though. ]

Minechin... quit it! You're gonna waste the food!

[ Grumbles the one shaking the table way worse. ]

[ Aomine only just barely grabs his own mug before, inevitably, the pair of dragon-shaped salt and pepper shakers on their table topples over. ] --hey!

[ One would think he's protesting the public proclamation of certain 'illicit student activities.' ]

You started it!

[ But that's not what it is at all. It looks like things might escalate into a full-fisted slapfight that might or might not flip the table, except that in a breath there's Madam Rosmerta, her hands planted firmly on her hips and a very serious scowl on her face.

A few minutes later, when the door to The Three Broomsticks is swinging shut behind them, Aomine's got his shoulders bunched up and his hands in his pockets. ]

Damnit Murasakibara, now we're gonna have to go to that stupid tea shop if we want dinner.

Edited 2014-07-25 01:41 (UTC)

Don't act like it's not your fault, Minechin...

[ Hear that incredibly disappointed grumble, Aomine? That's going to wreck you later in Quidditch ~~or in other ways~~. He's got a grudge now. It takes almost all his effort not to nudge the other with his shoulder.

Which actually means he doesn't try at all and elbows the shorter teen in the side none too nicely. Sadly this is pretty common at this point in their school life together. ]

You owe me a lot now...

[ Aomine manages not to groan. He knows that tone; he knows that openly, sullenly pouting face. He growls under his breath and shoves back with his shoulder, though like always, it's like knocking against something unreasonably large, like a gorilla, or Shaquille O'neal.

He knows from long experience where this is going. Murasakibara isn't going to let things go, and they're stuck together in the castle for all of winter break, a prospect which, up until five minutes ago, wasn't so bad. ] Fine, fine, I get it already.

What the hell do you want?

[ Besides as many sweets as it's possible for him to carry. ]

[ Giving Atsushi the option to make anything up to him was an entirely terrible idea. Especially when it came to Aomine; not because he hated him or anything (they actually got along strangely well nowadays, even though they usually told everyone else that they didn't like each other. Even if they were always hanging out. ~~Because the Generation of Miracles don't have friends ok friends are for chumps~~) but because he knew that the shorter teenager could take any kind of punishment he decided to saddle him with.

Though as he tilts his head to think he digs some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans from his pocket and just pops multiples of them bravely into his mouth without a second thought. Not even checking to see if he got the fantastic flavors of Vomit or Grass or Earwax. ]

I'll think on it... First buy me some Sugar Quills. [ By some he means 'all', naturally. ]

[ ...yeeearrggh.

Watching Murasakibara eat those things never gets any easier. At all. But Aomine's learned by now that his gut his like a black hole: he can take in anything, at any amount. ] Sure, but if you eat 'em in class I'm not buying more when you lose 'em.

[ And since he's agreed, he'll change their route and start guiding them toward Honeydukes, because dinner is also apparently for chumps. Here the crowds are getting a little thicker, given how popular a destination the famed sweet shop continues to be, though the local branch of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is constantly giving it a serious run for its money.

At least it's easy to get through all the other students. With Atsushi, it's just a matter of pointing him toward the door. ]

[ His iron stomach was feared throughout the Hufflepuff House and he didn't even have to use a spell for it. Just naturally a digestion machine. There were rumors that he could out eat the Great Hall... of course that was just a rumor. Probably. But he did eat ridiculous amounts of food (and desserts).

The walk into Honeydukes was easy enough, and despite being busy people still made way for them. Mostly because they were a couple of upperclassmen, but also because they were tall upperclassmen. Who were Quidditch players. And as much as Aomine and Murasakibara may have hated it... it did give them some leeway among the other students.

Once there he glanced around to take in what sales were happening before pointing at multiple things and looking at Aomine expectantly. ]

Acid Pops, Chocolate Skeletons, Jelly Slugs, and Sugar Quills.

[ Hop to it Aomine. At least his mood seems to be improving already. ]

[ And, just like a disgruntled but brow-beaten boyfriend, Aomine makes an irritated noise and hops to it.

Woe to any child or teenager that wanted any of those specific items tonight, because he just waltzes right up and scoops the whole helping into his arms. If there's a box or a jar, he just picks those up, too, to be dumped on the counter when they're done. It's a good thing that the cashier - much to that individual's despair - recognizes them, or else there would have been some serious confusion when Aomine stomps over and starts to form a pile of sweets.

And ugh, Jelly Slugs.

They're almost as bad as eating all the beans at once.

Aomine's got a jug full of acid pops under one arm when he stops by Murasakibara again. ]

What else?

Or is this it? [ That is said with an expected level of incredulity. ]

[ The poor cashier had heard tale of these two from their coworkers. Likely they hadn't believed them until this moment... and had their coworker not told them that the two always paid for what they brought to the counter they'd just think they were fucking around and making a mess.

Jelly slugs were amazing, okay, Aomine? Though they can both agree Blood Pops were kind of... weird.

For a split second he looks thoughtful before squinting at Aomine in thought as if considering how much in debt he was to him before shrugging. ]

I'll get some Chocolate Cauldrons next time.

[ You got off lucky, punk. ]

[ Thank hell.

Chocolate Cauldrons have a tendency to be huge and he's only got so much arm space.

Aomine can march back to the cashier and pay for what eventually becomes three full bags of wizarding sweets. He's also considerably poorer. Looks like someone's going to have to go bum dinner off the house elves if he actually wants to eat tonight.

He returns with Atsushi's considerable "I am sorry you're such a jackass" gift and holds them out to him. ]

Here.

[ Murasakibara happily takes his "I'm a jackass" present, sliding all three bags with a natural ease onto his arm before digging inside one of them to pull out a sugar quill as they head toward the door together. ]

Thanks, Minechin. I'm a little less mad now.

[ A little. Though he actually seems to be in a positively good mood now as he nibbles on the tip of the quill. He'd never really been good at eating things with any sort of slow pace. ]

What do you wanna do now?

[ Aomine is not revenge-minded.

Except that sentence is a lie, and likely always will be. He just doesn't think of it as revenge. It's really only about keeping things fair, paying back debts, giving people what they're due, that kind of thing. ]

We should go check out that shack.

[ You know. That shack. ]

Everyone's always talking about how scary it is. I bet it's a lie.

The Shrieking Shack?

[ Sure, he'd heard of it too. Everyone had. He'd also heard that no one was brave enough to ever go inside... or maybe that they couldn't? He was fuzzy on the details because he didn't really care about going anywhere in Hogsmeade that wasn't the candy store.

But rather than completely shutting Aomine down he just shrugs his shoulders as he bites down into his sugary snack. ]

Mm. Why not. I'm bored anyway.

[ They could see how well that goes when they actually get there. ~~Especially if Aomine pulls some trick.~~ ]

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