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The Hogwarts School of Fuck Everybody [ OPEN PSL/MEME ]

The Harry Potter AU: Smutty Edition

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[ According to their owl-carried postcard, Tim's parents were currently in some far-flung tropical wilderness, excavating ancient ruins to look for magical artefacts, as usual. And as usual, it was a short message, just a few sentences to explain that they couldn't make it back, and didn't want him to come over there in case he caught one of the local nasty diseases, or something like that.

It's not like he wants to catch Mungo's Moldering Marsh Measles, so that's that. He's already sent his reply, telling them he understands and hopes their dig goes well. He can use the extra time at school to study, so it's all worked out for the best.

He's not even thinking about it as he eats his dinner, but his thoughts are rudely interrupted as Aomine sits right next to him, even though he clearly doesn't belong at the Ravenclaw table. The next moment, there's cold, wet snow falling onto him, and he can't help jerking in surprise, hands shooting up to brush it off. ]

Hey -

[ And then - did Aomine just - he did.

He totally just stole Tim's pumpkin pastry.

Tim frowns, grabbing his plate to drag it further away from Aomine's reach. ]

You could ask, if you wanted one.

Why?

[ It's a legitimate question. He jerks his chin toward the platter on the table, which is, as always, full of more of the things. ] You can just get another one.

[ Just don't mind Aomine helping himself to the nearest pitcher of juice, a plate of seasonal sausages, and a whole pie, piling everything together in front of him. Good manners: things he does not have. ] Oi, so, you're good at potions, right? That asshole professor is never on your ass like he is with me.

[ Let him finish the bite of pastry he was just talking through. ]

I need you to do something for me.

Edited 2014-07-03 01:07 (UTC)

[ Tim opens his mouth to say So could you, but - what's the point? He closes his mouth again with a small sigh and watches Aomine pile the food up in front of him. It's true that the amount of food laid on for such few students is kind of ridiculous, but still, is Aomine really going to eat all of that?

He's just turning back to his own meal when Aomine speaks up again, muffled by a mouthful of pastry. (His pastry.)

Naturally, he isn't even really asking him to do something, just telling him to. ]

... What is it? Do you need some tutoring?

[ He starts with the pie. At least he uses a fork.

With his non-fork hand, he plops a scroll down next to Tim's plate. ] I've got this assignment. Hard as hell, buncha weird shit in there I don't recognize. [ Because he didn't attend the class...ostensibly.

It's actually a high-level potion students aren't supposed to be making. ]

I need you to make it for me.

[ Tim picks up the scroll and gives it a dubious look. He could say that maybe Aomine would reocginse more of the ingredients if he actually went to class, but more importantly - ]

I'm not making it for you. I can help you with it, but if I do all the work, he'll just ask you about it in class and give you detention when you have no idea how you made it.

[ He's seen how strict the Potions Master is with Aomine, although he really does seem to bring it on himself most of the time.

Finally, he opens the scroll and starts reading it. He frowns a bit. ]

... Are you sure this is the right potion?

Fine, fine. Help me with it, then. [ It may be that Aomine conceded that battle a little too soon. It may be that he had planned to be around for the making of said potion all along.

But who can say...?

He doesn't betray any other kind of pre-planning, however, concentrating mainly on eating his dinner even in the middle of talking. ]

It's extra work. Extracurricular. He said it's to make up for failing the last three tests. [ Which is, at least, the truth; Aomine is treacherously close to being held back a year because of his Potions class alone, to say nothing of the others. ]

... [ Tim narrows his eyes for a second. Aomine seems a lot quicker to agree to just being helped with the potion than he usually is with anything that requires him to do actual work. But there's no other hint that there's anything unusual going on.

Maybe he's just in a good mood because it's the holidays and he has an excuse to slack off.

Right. ]

I guess that makes sense... I was going to say, it looks pretty advanced. [ For Aomine, or for the class in general, he doesn't specify. ] But to make up for all that, it would have to be.

[ Tim is finally going to get back to eating his own dinner. ] So should we work on it tomorrow?

Tonight. [ This, too, he says casually and around a mouthful of biscuit. ] The sooner we get it over with, the better.

I had shit I wanted to do during break.

[ Nap, laze around, read titty magazines, nap again, maybe head out to the Quidditch pitch once or twice to fly some without people bitching at him all the time. ]

You can come over to the Gryffindor common room, nobody's in the tower right now except me.

[ Tim shoots Aomine a narrow-eyed look, part suspicion and part mild annoyance - like he didn't have things he wanted to do during break that Aomine is interrupting? Maybe he even had plans for tonight!

He didn't, unless holing up in the library with rare texts counts. He knows it doesn't, not really, and there's still no other hint that anything untoward is going on, so he just sighs and finishes his own mouthful of pastry before speaking. ]

Fine, we'll get it done tonight. That way we'll have more time to fix any mistakes before it's due, too.

[ Because of course he's expecting Aomine to make mistakes. He does pause as the implications of going to the Gryffindor common room all alone sink in. He'll be kind of vulnerable to any pranks or bullying that Aomine decides to dish out... but surely, if he's helping with schoolwork, he should be fine. ]

... Yeah, okay, I'll come over. It must be quiet in the tower with everyone else gone. [ He's imagining that the Gryffindor common room is usually kind of loud - comparatively, the fact that he's the only Ravenclaw stuck in Hogwarts over break hasn't made their common room that much quieter. ]

It's a great place to nap.

[ He says it with an open grin, maybe because he does like time to be lazy, but also maybe because some secret plan that he certainly doesn't have is now underway.

He's at least smart enough - barely - to know not to push it once he's gotten what he wants. Rather than add any other details, he just nods and grunts out an affirmative before going back to his breakfast. ] I'll bring the materials, you just bring that big brain of yours.

[ Among...other things.

Later that night, he'll be true to his word, waiting outside the portrait of the Fat Lady for Tim, completely ignoring her disapproving looks.

It's not like she'll be watching; she doesn't have any right to bitch. ]

[ Well Tim was thinking that maybe Aomine was feeling a little lonely, and maybe that's contributing to him asking for help with this potion and not minding having to work on it too, but those concerns dissolve in the face of that grin. He knows just how lazy Aomine can be, so he's easily convinced that that's really what the happiness is all about.

He's happy enough to go back to finishing his dinner in relative peace, finishing up his smaller portion quickly.

He shows up outside the Gryffindor common later that night as promised, even though it really does feel late at night, after dinner and with the wintry nights coming in early. He comes over to Aomine and gives the portrait of the Fat Lady a silent, respectful nod - he's just here to help a Gryffindor not to fail Potions utterly, please don't mind him.

Uh, hi. Did you have any trouble getting the materials? [ Just in case he needs to go on a run to get anything, before they go inside the common room. ]

Nah. [ Meaning: some. A couple of them had been off-limits to students, and a couple more had been off-limits, period, but Aomine's long-standing feud with the Potions professor - the bastard - has made for a lot of opportunity to snipe shit, or to learn how and where to snip shit from his office. All those detentions, miserable as they had been, had been worth something overall.

Now, when he leads Tim inside - the password being "Goblin fart" because their house is very mature - one of the tables in the common room is laden with jars and pouches, little tied sacks, bottles of all shapes and sizes, and a single very large, unidentifiable vegetable. There's space enough to work with, and a cauldron already hanging above the house fire, with smaller ones and a set of scales on the table.

It seems, for once, that he's thoroughly prepared.

Maybe he doesn't want to fail after all...? Getting held back a year would be an embarrassment. ]

[ Tim actually hides a small smile behind his hand at "Goblin fart", because it shouldn't be funny but somehow it is, probably because it's so very Gryffindor to choose something like that - and because he does have a sense of humor, contrary to usual appearances.

He looks over the array of ingredients and equipment laid out, and can't help feeling slightly impressed. ] It almost looks like you knew what you were doing.

[ For once. But then, just gathering the ingredients and setting things up isn't the hard part, really. Especially since Tim doesn't know just how off-limits half the ingredients are, which would have raised more alarms for him if he'd been the one trying to get them ready. ]

Okay, what's the first step in the recipe? [ He's ready to help, but he's still going to make sure Aomine does his share of the work. ]

I dunno, I'm not the expert here.

[ But he does, at least, pull out a list of instructions. The parchment is on the ragged side, and torn in a few places, most likely missing a solid chunk of itself as a result.

Not surprising, considering it's probably been in his pocket all day. ] It says bring the big cauldron to a boil, add oyster powder, rose petals, a ton of salt, groundsel, cherry pits, and uhh...yuck, sparrow wings, one male, one female.

[ Despite the nasty twist to his mouth, Aomine goes to take care of that, digging through the gathered materials. He'll leave the list with Tim so he can get to working on the smaller bits and pieces, to be added to the big cauldron once the foundation ingredients had formed the appropriate disgusting slurry.

At least the rose petals make it smell nice. ]

I'm hardly an expert. [ Tim mutters, quiet and dismissive and just a touch self-deprecating, with a roll of his eyes. He might be an expert compared to Aomine, but he's still just a student. He'd have to study a lot to come close to Professor Sasori's level, for example.

He's certainly not expert enough to recognise the potion they're making, and the scroll is so torn up and battered after spending the day in Aomine's pocket that the name of potion has been lost. Obviously, that's just a coincidence - there's no reason Aomine might want to deliberately hide the name from Tim, right? Right. At least the instructions are mostly intact.

Well, kind of. There's a couple of places where he really has to guess at the wording (cut the vegetable in what strips... thick? Thin? Even? Oh Merlin this isn't going to go well.)

He busies himself preparing the ingredients so Aomine can add them at the right times, chopping, grinding and weighing things meticulously. ]

It smells better than it, uh, looks.

[ In no time at all, the fluid, originally possessing the consistency of a nice sludge, is thinner, still smelling of roses but now a rich lavender in color, with a faint shimmer to it.

Aomine makes his way back to the table to pick up the small sacks and folder papers that contain the finished additional ingredients. He still looks fairly calm and casual about the whole affair, if a bit impatient; it's not unexpected, considering it's really homework, and he'd probably rather be sleeping.

The reality is that he's having to work at holding in a thread of excitement that pounds quietly in the region of his chest.

Almost done. They're almost done. ]

All we've got to do is put these in and let it boil for ten minutes. No stirring until the last minute, I think.

[ Tim is actually kind of impressed with the change in the potion - it's probably a good sign that such a dramatic change has happened. And it looks surprisingly pleasant, considering how sludgy and unappealing it started off as. ]

Okay, I'll time it.

[ He readies his watch to keep an eye on the time and wait out the ten minutes once Aomine adds the last ingredients. He'd be perfectly happy to pass the time in awkward silence, he really would, but that impatient look in Aomine's eyes has him worried the other student might rush things if he's left without anything to do but watch a pot boil for ten solid minutes. ]

You know, I think you've actually done pretty well with this, so far. I don't know why you keep getting such low marks in class.

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