donges | The Hogwarts School of Fuck Everybody [ OPEN PSL/MEME ]

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The Hogwarts School of Fuck Everybody [ OPEN PSL/MEME ]

The Harry Potter AU: Smutty Edition

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Type: Student
Wand: Mahogany, unicorn hair, twelve inches long, unyielding.
House: Slytherin
Year: Fifth
Family: Halfblood (And in denial about it. Mommy was a Japanese muggle Wizard Daddy met in a soap land sssh)
Bonus: uh tiny?
Double Bonus: has a kneazle familiar named Toto.

School Status: Doesn't need anyone or anyone okay is gonna show everyone someday and be so powerful and stuff. Pkew pkew. Actually does pretty good in classes but socially is an island damn it.

[Tiny Slytherins unite!

Except we know this isn't a heartwarming tale of acceptance and new friendships. This is Luppi elbowing his lackeys and then taking a seat on the common room couch next to Silver and leaning in too close.]

Hey. You know what I heard about wizards with unicorn hair wands?

[He quivers. Just slightly. His fingers clenching that much harder on the sides of the book he was trying to study in peace.]

For your sake I hope that you heard it's a bad idea to mess with them.

[A dangerous glare is flashed in Luppi's direction, accompanied by a show of teeth.]

Ohhh. So scary here. [called back to his goons] Isn't he making you shake?

No. What I heard is that the longer the wand, the smaller the dick.

What's yours again? 16 inch?

I'm not gonna answer anything so stupid.

[He huffs and brings the book closer to his face. Studying! Studying hard here!]

Some of us are here to learn, not slack off.

What? This is educational.

[Well, if Silver is going to focus on his book, then maybe he won't notice Luppi pulling out his wand.]

Wingardium Leviosa

[He points the levitation spell at the lower hem of Silver's robes.]

E-eh?

[Suddenly the book is tossed in a fury to one side, his hands going to do their best to hold down his suddenly lifting robes.

He quickly stands up, looking like a tiny redheaded Marilyn Monroe or something.]

You --! I oughta bash your face in!

If you won't tell me, I'll have to find out for myself.

[Silver is fighting the lifting of his robes enough to make getting under them difficult, but really what Luppi needs is a clear line of sight on the button and zipper holding his pants closed.

A few more muttered incantations and the teeth of his zipper start to pull apart.

It would be easier to take his wand. Details.]

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